I received a pitch from RepNup, a company that helps you check your Facebook history so you can clean it up before your employer or hopeful employer looks at it. I figured, what the heck, it’s free, so I’ll take a look at what comes back in my history. I live a pretty tame life–I’m in my 40s, I’m married, have 2 kids, and am the head of the children’s organization at church. So, yeah, I wasn’t concerned about what would come back. (And, professionally I counsel people on what not to put up in social media, so you’d think I should know to be careful!)
Anyway, RepNup came back with 5 questionable posts, 1 questionable share, and 2 questionable photos. I’m laughing so hard, I have to share. I realize this is not the normal reaction when people find out that their posts are “questionable.” So, here is my “questionable” Facebook activity. Go ahead and run yourself a RepNup report and post your favorite PG or G rated posts in the comments, and I will use some of them in an upcoming article. (You can post PG13 and above posts with the appropriate edits. No bad words or sexually explicit things or I’ll delete! My mom reads this blog.)
1. Got a great Evil HR Lady email today. Someone is terribly upset because she was “forced to resign” for sending nude “modeling” photos of herself to coworkers. I mean, how unfair is that????? Glad I’m not working the front lines of HR.
I’m sure this one was tagged because of the “nude modeling photos.” No, she didn’t send me the pictures. I don’t open attachments from people I don’t know anyway.
2. Got a mani/pedi last night. Before you get too jealous, it was done at the salon of [9 year old offspring] and [4 year old offspring]. [9 year old] did quite a good job on my toes–the big ones even have stars on them. [4 year old], however, needs a bit of work. So, if you see me today, I realize that it looks like I’ve just murdered someone with my bare hands, but it’s just [4 year old’s] manicure job.
Guessing the phrase “murdered someone with my bare hands” set off the filter. As it should!
3. I forgot to report on a very important event from our vacation. When [Evil Marketing Man] went to check out of the hotel in Budapest, there was a very obnoxious American (or at least American accented) family checking out. The mom was throwing a fit about every little thing and basically being the perfect example of the “ugly American.” When they finally left the front desk clerk apologized to [Evil Marketing Man] for having to hear that and removed all of our breakfast costs from the bill to compensate for having to hear the crazy American woman.
When we boarded our train back to Austria, this same family was there. [Evil Marketing Man] wouldn’t let me go up and thank the lady for the discount on our hotel bill.
I’m not 100 percent sure on what triggered this one. “Ugly American”? “throwing a fit”? By the way, Budapest was lovely and the food was delicious.
4. Frequently, I will go with [10 year old offspring] to school, and then jog/walk home, while listening to podcasts on my Kindle Fire. This morning, against parental advice, [10 year old] took two Kindles with her. She’s allowed one at school and she knows she can’t have two. Consequence: No kindles at all.
If you are counting, you’ll realize that now I’m going to be running home, carrying three rather largish electronic devices. Plus, my headphones. The podcast today was from Freakonomics and was on suicide. As I neared my house, I have to go through a short tunnel under the train tracks. The sound changed substantially and I thought, hmmm, that’s funny. Why would a tunnel affect how I hear thing when it’s coming through head phones?
And because I’m pretty bright (if you exclude this event), I realized it wouldn’t change if it were coming through headphones, which means it wasn’t coming through headphones. I checked, and my headphones were not plugged in all the way.
Which means, I’m the crazy woman, running along the river, carrying 3 kindles and blasting an English podcast on suicide.
I apologize to the expat community for how I represent you all. At least everyone I passed (or who passed me!) has a good story to share.
I suppose the mention of suicide is what caused this to be tagged. And, in case you were wondering why my Offspring wanted 2 Kindles, they are on different accounts so they have different books. This is the child that we punish by forbidding her to read. She reads a lot.
5. Watched Annie tonight with the kids. I remember thinking it was a dumb story when I watched it at a slumber party at [friend’s] house long ago. It is still dumb, and I don’t get why people love it. Explain, please!
This one, I can’t quite figure out. Are slumber parties considered bad? Are my career aspirations now finished????
As for the questionable photos, one was the one used to illustrate this article: How Will You Be Remembered? It’s of a naked statue used as a headstone. My artistic friends assure me that this is just art and not a rendition of the man buried beneath. I still say, not what I want on my tombstone. I’d worry about it, but since Inc, which is fairly respectable, was okay with using it, I’m not going to clean it from my Facebook profile.
The other “suspect” photo was taken in Tel Aviv, Israel. Before going to Israel I never knew circumcision graffiti existed. Now you do too!
And my questionable link? An article from that sketchy publication known as The New York Times: A Line Between Sweet and Skimpy.
So, now you know my deep dark secrets.