7 Ways to Become Your Organization’s Worst Employee Ever

by Evil HR Lady on February 26, 2016

If you’re a rebel at heart, you’ll want everyone to hate you and you’ll want to receive the worst of the worst when it comes to assignments. In order to accomplish that, you’ll need to build a reputation as the bad employee.

It’s not easy, and some people are just naturally inclined toward goodness, but with a bit of hard work, you, too, can become the worst employee at your company. There are seven ways to make yourself the worst employee.

Here’s how.

Make Yourself Hard to Find

This works wonders whether you’re a cashier at the grocery store or the VP of Finance. Never be where your coworkers and bosses expect to find you. Take extra long bathroom breaks (don’t forget to bring your SmartPhone), never sit at your desk, or your assigned post.

 And, if the boss announces she needs someone for a particularly unpleasant task (clean up on aisle 7), make sure you didn’t hear her even if she was standing two feet away and speaking through a megaphone.

{ 7 comments… read them below or add one }

Camellia February 26, 2016 at 3:26 pm

I work with this person. He will stand around for half an hour complaining about how much work he has to do, instead of actually, you know, doing the work. Rinse – repeat – multiple times a day. He is constantly late on his deliverables yet continues to get away with it. [sigh]

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Evil HR Lady February 27, 2016 at 4:02 pm

This is like my children. I’ll give them a 5 minute task and they’ll spend 30 minutes complaining about how much work it is.

My mother would say this is part of the grandma curse being fulfilled, but I swear, I never did that.

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Horse Tense February 29, 2016 at 12:10 pm

Just wanted to say keep up the good work Evil HR Lady.

Took me 2 minutes to think of this, and 20 seconds to write. Man! 🙂

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Evil HR Lady February 29, 2016 at 3:55 pm

Thanks! And on a random note, I had a great aunt Hortense, and I always think of her when you post. She was a bit crazy, so I loved her.

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maria rose February 26, 2016 at 9:24 pm

I have worked with people like this all my life, and the times it bothers me is first when I have to carry their end of the load all by myself because the manager is blinded by their appearing to be so-called working and not noticing their disappearance when manager is not present. Their demeanor is completely different with co-workers than when manager is present. I finally got to the point where I would start the work as soon as I came in while manager was still there so I would have less to do went alone with this person. The manager finally believed me when I got promoted to a manager position and noticed that employees would ask me to talk to this person about the lack of performance. When I informed the manager of what was occurred, this employee had to do job or quit. The employee di the best thing for all and that was to quit but did it spitefully with no notice. The other time it bothered me was when I had as a manager, an employee whom I couldn’t fire (seniority issue) nor could I transfer to other department (because he was just that bad of an employee, excess lateness, leave of absences during critical periods of the year. insistence on getting lunch and break times at specific times despite needs of business) I was the only manager in his 18 years who actually documented his actions because the others got afraid of his accusation of harassment. I got out the employee handbook and union handbook and followed the letter of the what was written. He was so good at taking time off with getting notes to cover his absences that would cover him until he had to be present at work and not use any paid vacation days until he would return. Because of my efforts, HR finally started to monitor his actual time on job (you need a certain amount of time yearly to be considered full time) If the company hadn’t gone into bankruptcy and closed down the business, I would have gotten him fired for misuse of company time for those 18 years.. Because of people like these two individuals, people like me suffer with low pay, extra hard work, and extreme lack of appreciation by company.

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Anonymous February 26, 2016 at 9:45 pm

Oh the oversharing. I had a coworker who shared awful medical details.

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Elizabeth West March 1, 2016 at 10:54 pm

What’s worse than this employee? A manager who is too wimpy to do anything about them, to the detriment of all the other employees who then want to push both their faces in.

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