No One Wants to See Your Armpit

Really. I swear this is a true statement. Have you ever had someone come up to you and say, “What a lovely armpit you have?” No? It’s because no one wants to see it!

I feel better now. What brought on this armpit rant? I’m glad you asked. Dress codes fall under Human Resources and making them always involves long meetings with people spouting different unreasonable ideas.

Irrational Colleague: Women can’t wear pants! Men can’t wear pants! No pants! Only Kilts.

Diversity Specialist: No, kilts would disciminate against those who aren’t Scottish. We are an inclusive organization. Our dress code needs to reflect the diversity of our organization. Everyone has to wear clothing from their ancestral country of origin, not just the Scots. Lederhosen for those of German Ancestry, Traje for those from Guatemala—

Irrational Colleague: How are kilts discriminitory against non Scots? And what ethnicity is your polyester suit from?

Evil HR Lady: What if we just say, no jeans, no see-through clothing and everything between your neck and your knees needs to be covered?

Irrational Colleague and Diversity Specialist turn in horror at the rational suggestion just made.

So, that’s how dress code meetings go. Which is probably how the Federal Air Marshalls ended up with a coat and tie dress code. The Air Marshalls knew that they stood out and they knew they lost their anonymity. But, somehow the management (and I bet HR) couldn’t see that it was a problem. Heck, the last time I flew I was afraid I’d violated the dress code by not wearing either Daisy Dukes with a Nascar T-shirt or all black. Fortunately, they still let me on the plane. If I in my green capris and white shirt felt out of place, imagine how the air marshall in her panty-hose felt. And how easy it was to spot her.

Fortunately, the Air Marshall dress code people came to their senses (read: someone was on vacation) and they are are now being allowed to dress at their discretion.

This makes a lot more sense for allowing the Air Marshalls to blend in with the crowd. Hopefully this will make them less conspicuous and more likely to be able to catch the bad guys.

Still, I would have had one big requirement: No sleeveless shirts.