Dear Evil HR Lady,
I got into a situation at work — I threw my coworker’s keys out the door, and called her a [bad word].
I am being sent to human resources, and they are investigating a harassment claim. My question is, should I just resign, and would the harassment claim be on my record? Or should I just wait until they fire me?
To read the answer click here: I messed up: Should I resign or wait to be fired?
Great advice. Spot on. I especially like your suggestions re: being classy in the face of termination. I think it would make an impression on our HR department and on the departing person’s supervisor as well.
It’s always better to be classy. Klassy, on the other hand, not so much.
“I messed up”
Good Lord, Suzanne, I do hope that is your language in the title of this post rather then the “key thrower’s” because the way I see it this is beyond “messed up” or “getting into a situation.” Calling a co-worker a “bad word” is never acceptable in my book. I’ve worked at too many places where such nonsense is tolerated and folks are given a “second chance.”
Totally agree with your advice – it is perfect for this situation – especially the apology part. Far too many folks do apologize with the “but” part added on; which kind of negates the apology, doesn’t it?
Fake apologies are the bane of my existence (one of them, anyway). Even worse is the “I’m sorry IF I offended you” approach, placing the blame on the person for being offended. It’s like telling a racist or sexist joke and criticizing the person who doesn’t laugh for being uptight.
Oh, I hate the “I’m sorry IF I offended you” too. Blech.
I used the phrase “screwed up,” editors changed it to “messed up.” The OP said, “Urgent help needed!”
Leaving the “but” out of an apology is really hard to do.
In some cases, is being fired not preferable to resigning?
Collecting unemployment benefits for a while can help the burned-out recover without risking foreclosure, etc.
Thanks – excellent column
This would be a firing for cause, which precludes you from collecting unemployment in most places.
Depending on the state, it may or may not be considered a “cause.” Some states are extremely generous.
I advise everyone to apply, even if they were fired for cause.
Good point about the state variability, and also about the “it never hurts to apply.”
Ah the wonders of HR and not knowing all the facts!
On the other side of this if a manager came to me and said ‘I’ve got a staff member who lost the plot and swore at their colleague and threw something at them.’ I’d be asking questions to find out if there’s a history of this sort of behaviour. I would hold meetings with both parties to find out what happened – OP apologies and just stick to the facts – I’d then hold a disciplinary with the manager and the OP and a decision would be made from there.
Based on what I see, and employment law where I live I’d most probably be looking at a written or final written warning if there’d been no previous history, I might also see if it’s possible for the OP to go to a training on dealing with stress or an anger mangement course.
Another good response! Although, I’m not getting the “harassment” angle. One incident does not harassment make. And, there’s nothing in this post that indicates harassment. Really, really bad behavior, yes; but not harassment.