If you’ve ever been forced to make small talk with a stranger, you know the topic of work will come up. When it does, there are only two options.
- The person doesn’t understand what you do
- The person doesn’t understand what you do, but wants you to do something similar for free.
Okay, that’s a bit of an exaggeration. If you’re at a professional conference, people tend to understand what you do, because they do something similar. Right now, Twitter is having fun with these conversations. They are so relatable.
“What do you do?”
“Software developer”
“Oh, so, you work with computers?”
“Not exact….”
“My computer is broken, can you fix it?”
“I don’t work with hard…”
“I have a warranty but it’d be nice if you took a look”— Eric Jr. (@TwiTati) June 5, 2018
To keep reading, click here: Twitter: No One Understands Your Job. Hilarity Ensues
Leave yours in the comments. I have conversations like this:
“I’m a writer.”
“Do you write novels?”
“No, I write about business and HR.”
“Can you get me a job?”
Among my many jobs have been documentation for a process control firm, an embedded systems compiler company (the fun explanation here is that I cranked out 12,000 page in one year), and CAD software. I refer to my work as “a bound sleep aid”. When asked why I left, I explain that I got tired of writing fiction. No one gets that joke. I am now working for a small manufacturing firm that makes portable cranes. This is more relatable, but still boring enough to quell any discussion.
“I’m a recruiter”
“Great can you get me a job?”
“I work with the manufacturing industry, do you have any prior manufacturing experience?”
“Yes, I’ve worked in Assembly”
–WORK HISTORY
Subway 20xx-20xx
Sandwich Assembler
😐
Trying walking around shopping at a supermarket and getting asked to find products on shelf because you look like a person who knows how the products are stocked on shelves and you don’t work there. I find that narrow minded people don’t see or think beyond their “all important “ circle. I just try to pleasantly remove myself from their presence.
I work in a hardware store noted for customer service. I was once in a huge home center/competitor noted for their use of orange. Wearing my work vest (which is not orange), looking to buy some stuff we didn’t carry.
Several people asked me where something might be. But if you’ve been in one Orange Suck you’ve been in all of them (because they’re all laid out exactly the same), and in each case, I was able to help them.
One guy acknowledged that he knew I didn’t work there, but said he figured I would be more helpful than the employees. He was right.
I’m a retired attorney and former member of the judiciary, currently working in EEO compliance. In both lines of work, people tend(ed) to ask for advice, either legal or (now) regarding possible employment discrimination. My doctor friends report hesitancy to say what they do, because everyone has some kind of medical issue or question.
I have a friend who is an attorney. (He tells me there hasn’t been a new lawyer joke in several centuries, and none of them are funny after the millionth time you hear it. I see no reason to doubt him.)
When asked for legal advice, he offers a recommendation for someone who practices in an appropriate area of law (his specialty is very, very specialized, and no private person would ever need it).
Or he quotes hourly rates.
“I’m an employment law attorney.”
“Let me ask you a question. I have a friend who is going through a divorce….”
“That’s family law. I’m an employment law attorney. I can help with stuff related to work.”
“So last week, my boss [insert normal behavior that employee thinks is absolutely terrible here]. Can I sue?”
“I do IT work.”
“Can you fix my computer?”
“Sure, if it’s in front of me. But if you’re not willing to pay my hourly rate, I’m going to set your password to “I am a cheap-ass moron” and set it so you can’t ever change it.”
(And I could.)
What do you do?
I’m a librarian!
Oh, I bet it’s awesome to work in such a quiet place!
Well, actually…
Or to have time to read all day long!
Well, I don’t…
Can you get me a job? I like to read.
Other Person: What do you do?
Me: I’m a Risk Manager for a staffing agency.
OP:
Me:
OP:
Me: Yeah, nobody really knows what that is. I basically handle everything that nobody else in the company wants to do, unemployment claims, workers’ compensation, liability insurance, EEOC claims, background checks, drug testing, things like that.
OP: Oh…um. Yeah, sounds….yeah, that sounds…um…well, I bet you have some interesting stories.
Dave? Dave’s not here.