Kindness is not what you think it is

How important is honesty when giving feedback?

One thing HR professionals hate is when a manager comes and says, “I can’t take it anymore we have to fire Tiffany!”

And the HR professional pulls Tiffany’s file and finds that her last performance review rates her as performing above average. The manager confesses that he just hates giving people negative feedback.

I’m a big believer in being kind! And do you know what is kind? The truth. You don’t have to be mean when you give feedback, but you do need to be honest.

If someone is struggling with something, tell them how they can improve and what they need to improve. If someone isn’t meeting goals, make it clear.

This tweet about the Australian break dancer reminded me of this. Because she scored a zero, it seems like no one told her to look at how the scoring was done and at least match her routine to that. No one was willing to hurt her feelings before the Olympics, so she’ll be the butt of jokes at least until the next person publicly embarrasses themselves.

If you are not a manager, you don’t need to comment on your coworker’s performance. That’s not your job. But if you are the manager, it’s a kindness to be honest.

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One thought on “Kindness is not what you think it is

  1. Yes, you do need to be honest with your feedback. Because what’s the point, right? But there’s no need to be harsh or critical, as this can lead to defensiveness and demotivation.

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