After working in HR for 30 years, I was told today that I was “too aggressive” and that I came across as if I had an agenda. I have never had someone say this to me before — I have been told to speak up more and be tougher at times.
I guess as a female, I have always been blessed with working with teams that valued a strong, opinionated woman. And yes, I do have an agenda when I go to a meeting. I am an HR director with tough items that must be addressed. I am having a hard time taking this all in.
I guess I am looking for guidance. My heart and gut tell me that if I were male, this would never have been said to me. Maybe I am wrong? Maybe I am taking this too personally. However, I also know this is the third time this particular person, who I’ll call Mark, has complained that a female was too harsh with him.
Any advice on how to move forward and move on would be much appreciated. I can’t keep letting this eat at me.
To read my answer, click the link. Am I Too Aggressive, or Is My Accuser Being Sexist?
Leave your own answer in the comments!
Not a problem you should own.
I would have told “Mark” exactly that…
“Well, it is my job to be prepared and discuss hard topics, so yes, I have an agenda – as you put it. Thank you for noticing my focus. Still, I think that’s an interesting perspective Mark… thank you for your feedback. Although, I wonder though if you would have the same feedback if I were a male. No need to answer, just think on it.”